How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A friend of mine who is about to be ordained as an Anglican "priestess, Vicarette, lady Vicar, give me a name someone" jokingly put on her facebook page the following joke.... How many Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb... Fourteen; one to change it and 13 to ask "what is change?".....

Which set me thinking... Now I love the good old CofE many of my very best friends and Colleagues are in it. I love ministering in it and I often have the joy of preaching in their churches and taking communion with them

But I find their systems and structures a little antiquated and to be honest hilarious... So to my wonderful Anglican friends I offer the actual scenario you might face in the changing of a light bulb .... Are you ready? Here we go.

" Actually what would happen is the Standing Committee of the Parish would bat the light bulb change to the PCC,who would refer the matter to the Deanery synod. Deanery synod would refer it to house of laity and house of clergy in turn. The report of the light bulb change will need to pass in front of the archdeacon for his/her comments who will of course refer it to the parsonages committee.

However this one is complicated as this is a fresh expression of light bulb. Therefore a bishops missional order might be set in place for the light bulb change assuming a LEP ( Local Eclairage Partnership) won't do.

This situation has been further complicated as the light bulb change is in a Forward in Faith parish... The problem being now is the pioneer lighbulb changer for the BMO is Woman lightbulb changer and we can't have anything in the parish that has been changed by a women and especially not bread and grape juice....

So the proposal is goes before the diocesan team to be discussed with the Bishops team who may refer the lightbulb change to general synod via the fresh expressions team. Alternatively they will bring in an expert at great expense who has special forward in faith male fitting lightbulb changing skills.

The arch deacon has as a matter of protocol consulted the finance department who will be ensuring that the light bulbs are ordered through at least three suppliers and that only those competently (male and ordained) light bulb changer will indeed change the light bulb.

Meanwhile back in the Deanery Chapter will order a report from St Johns college on the epistemology of light bulb changes and the Greek root of the word change.

However we have now discovered that the Charismatics have got wind of the Lightbulb change which has started something of a schism.

Reform have now got wind of this and insist that only exclusively male lightbulbs that adhere to the 39 articles of light bulb will be allowed and that they will boycott and withhold parish share on light bulbs if the light bulb isn't adequately debated at synod......

The light bulb change then goes out across the communion the American episcopalian light bulbs pitch up at this point and express concern that male male light bulb fittings aren't adequately represented and they want one to become a Bishop light bulb changer .................. Whereupon the African light bulb changers storm out in disgust.... The communion is in turmoil and the forward in faith boys opt for Roman and Italian light bulbs as the Ordinariat light bulbs are purer..and untouched by women..

Meanwhile people who don't go to church, have never heard of Jesus sit in darkness ......... This is the non funny bit !

Happy Lightbulb changing everyone..........

They aren't a bunch of stories !

I recently had a profound spiritual experience of the Holy Spirits person and power in a conference where Heidi Baker was speaking. Her Husband Roland and her lead Iris ministries together in Mozambique. This movement has planted thousands of Churches have seen many healed and others raised from the dead. The social impact of their ministry is incredible. thousands of the worlds most deprived people are fed, loved, and healed through the power of Jesus.

While I was "under the power" I felt God speak powerfully to my spirit. He said Ally you love my sovereignty but you doubt what I can do through you. Then came the truly searching question..... "and you knw what that's called don't you" ... Yes Lord I shamefully replied ... Atheism ...

A friend of mine once referred to himself as a practical cessasionist..... Meaning he believed that spiritual gifts still happened today but that he didn't practice them...

My "Heidi moment" as I called it made me ask myself was I in reality on many fronts a deistic follower of Jesus having a form of religion yet denying His mighty working power working in me? Sadly the answer is yes and in some madness reformed religion that denies the present power of the spirit is little more than Calvanistic Deism....
Strong statements yet as I began to read scripture following my moments of personal revival I found that for too long the Bible had been a collection of doctrines ........ And stories ! Yes stories because they weren't my reality due to unbelief and a prevailing mindset soaked in secular humanism that has no problem with a deistic following of christ........ But a living theism that lives in , expects and yearns for the presence an power of the spirit is something very different.